You Make Me Really Happy
I know this is totally bogus but I feel like I've been on the receiving end of negative energy or something b/c things are looking down for Fil and I, to say the least. In fact, he hasn't called last night, although I know he's got a conveniently good excuse.
To put it simply, the fire has died. We don't talk like we used to and I guess, like Char said, there's nothing to excite us anymore. There's nothing to look forward to anymore, now that we've seen each other. Oh, those are one of the worst kinds of dates, the ones that lose their momentum.
It's on my end as well. I can't help it but I'm not excited about him as I was last week. It was all that anticipation and butterflies. I remember in highschool, that feeling used to last and last forever. Back then, though I never kissed guys or was totally liberal with them as I am now. Maybe that's why. I think there's much to say about having a little restraint. But on Sex and the City, Charlotte made out with Tray from the very beginning practically. What she held out on was sex. Isn't sex on the first date the new taboo?
I still remember what a scandal that title for the show aroused the first time it debuted many years ago. "Sex?" "On daytime television?" (a lot of blushes to go around).
A little off topic, I'm not even sure if I'm truly attracted to him. I'm still looking through rose-coloured glasses. I'm not totally facing reality yet. I mean, he's good looking but he's very small-framed, smaller than me but still the same height. It's totally superficial, I know but the same goes for him too. Maybe he's not totally attracted to me either. Who knows, right? One thing that really nags me is I feel like I'm living these moments a second time except now I have an armour. I feel like I've made the same initial mistake, being totally honest about my feelings with him too fast. Habs said it best, we moved too fast and I totally let it get out of control. But what the fuck, I am not 18 anymore. I don't have to play the part of the sweet innocent damsel. Why can't I play the part of the pursuer?
I'm not too sure what to do about this Friday's plans though. I agreed that I'd come. Am I still obligated to attend if he and I have a fall-out before then? If so, and I end up not going, what happens the coming Monday at the festival? I'm bound to see him there. I can't ignore him. What then? I can't exactly not be there either because those plans were already made before I met him. I feel like I'm making this complicated. We haven't even had a freakin fall-out yet I'm already gearing up for it.
How was it exactly that Carrie and Aiden broke up? He was a million times better than Big (not to mention Burger--nothing good comes from Bs). Aiden was good for Carrie. I LOVED the part when he was at her house, about to go out to buy something, and then he paused by the door for just a moment and said to her, "You make me really happy" before he turned to leave and closed the door behind him. God, what a dream he was.
If there's one thing that's truly memorable from Sex, it's Carrie's wonderful passionate quote: "I am someone who is looking for love, ridiculous, inconvenient, can't live without each other love."
GW
To put it simply, the fire has died. We don't talk like we used to and I guess, like Char said, there's nothing to excite us anymore. There's nothing to look forward to anymore, now that we've seen each other. Oh, those are one of the worst kinds of dates, the ones that lose their momentum.
It's on my end as well. I can't help it but I'm not excited about him as I was last week. It was all that anticipation and butterflies. I remember in highschool, that feeling used to last and last forever. Back then, though I never kissed guys or was totally liberal with them as I am now. Maybe that's why. I think there's much to say about having a little restraint. But on Sex and the City, Charlotte made out with Tray from the very beginning practically. What she held out on was sex. Isn't sex on the first date the new taboo?
I still remember what a scandal that title for the show aroused the first time it debuted many years ago. "Sex?" "On daytime television?" (a lot of blushes to go around).
A little off topic, I'm not even sure if I'm truly attracted to him. I'm still looking through rose-coloured glasses. I'm not totally facing reality yet. I mean, he's good looking but he's very small-framed, smaller than me but still the same height. It's totally superficial, I know but the same goes for him too. Maybe he's not totally attracted to me either. Who knows, right? One thing that really nags me is I feel like I'm living these moments a second time except now I have an armour. I feel like I've made the same initial mistake, being totally honest about my feelings with him too fast. Habs said it best, we moved too fast and I totally let it get out of control. But what the fuck, I am not 18 anymore. I don't have to play the part of the sweet innocent damsel. Why can't I play the part of the pursuer?
I'm not too sure what to do about this Friday's plans though. I agreed that I'd come. Am I still obligated to attend if he and I have a fall-out before then? If so, and I end up not going, what happens the coming Monday at the festival? I'm bound to see him there. I can't ignore him. What then? I can't exactly not be there either because those plans were already made before I met him. I feel like I'm making this complicated. We haven't even had a freakin fall-out yet I'm already gearing up for it.
How was it exactly that Carrie and Aiden broke up? He was a million times better than Big (not to mention Burger--nothing good comes from Bs). Aiden was good for Carrie. I LOVED the part when he was at her house, about to go out to buy something, and then he paused by the door for just a moment and said to her, "You make me really happy" before he turned to leave and closed the door behind him. God, what a dream he was.
If there's one thing that's truly memorable from Sex, it's Carrie's wonderful passionate quote: "I am someone who is looking for love, ridiculous, inconvenient, can't live without each other love."
GW
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