Colour Me Green
I think I'm going to start doing sit ups again. My stomach is not as mediocre as it used to me.
Haiat called me last night but like usual I missed it. I missed J's as well. This is what I do. When I'm feeling blue, I don't really want to talk to people, I just push them away. She left me an exasperated msg, "I give up! I give up!" she yells. I'm a little annoyed w/ her. She didn't call me to go to the African Fest last week. I wonder what happened?
Here's what else I do. I have a jealous streak. When I see someone else has such a great meaningful life (lots of great family in particular) I start to feel totally empty. That's when I REALLY become a recluse. B/c it's something I can NEVER have. And if I think about it too much, it becomes unbearable. I lose interest in the things that used to make me happy, like my own friends, writing, reading. I make myself believe that I'm missing out. Isn't that horrible? I'm working on that though. How appropriate that old adage is: "The grass is greener on the other side" b/c green is the colour of envy!
I almost clicked the deactivate button on Facebook. I want to leave it, God knows I'd relinquish a lot of wasted time, but it's like a drug--I just can't. I couldn't do it. Just like how I'm addicted to late night TV!
I want to go for a walk with J tomorrow evening. I hope he's free that night.
GW
Haiat called me last night but like usual I missed it. I missed J's as well. This is what I do. When I'm feeling blue, I don't really want to talk to people, I just push them away. She left me an exasperated msg, "I give up! I give up!" she yells. I'm a little annoyed w/ her. She didn't call me to go to the African Fest last week. I wonder what happened?
Here's what else I do. I have a jealous streak. When I see someone else has such a great meaningful life (lots of great family in particular) I start to feel totally empty. That's when I REALLY become a recluse. B/c it's something I can NEVER have. And if I think about it too much, it becomes unbearable. I lose interest in the things that used to make me happy, like my own friends, writing, reading. I make myself believe that I'm missing out. Isn't that horrible? I'm working on that though. How appropriate that old adage is: "The grass is greener on the other side" b/c green is the colour of envy!
I almost clicked the deactivate button on Facebook. I want to leave it, God knows I'd relinquish a lot of wasted time, but it's like a drug--I just can't. I couldn't do it. Just like how I'm addicted to late night TV!
I want to go for a walk with J tomorrow evening. I hope he's free that night.
GW
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