Diary of a Wom'n

I feel incredibly hallow inside right now. That feeling brought on by deep guilt. I hate it. It started with discussion of TW and his usual sour and rotten behaviour. Today I found out that he was upset a while ago because of something my mom said to him in the kitchen and another moment where she said that he could leave if he wanted to.

I have conflicted feelings about him. On the one hand, I want to snap him in half like a twig. He's a spoiled, ungrateful, moody, and weak, pathetic excuse for a man. On the other hand, I feel incredible pity for him because he's such a big sad story. He has grown to become so useless to society. He doesn't have any skills of any kind. He has no money. He has no confidence in himself and he carries himself like a dainty women. And perhaps the most saddest of all is he was never given the opportunity to learn good social habits as he was growing up. He grew up making his own rules, living the way he wants and doing what he wants, when he wants and how he wants it. Now, because of this lost opportunity, he has NOTHING in his life. He's not married, he doesn't have an education, and he has no direction in life. I don't have it in me to say to him, "you need to return my money." When you approach him, he acts so helpless, like a frightened deer. You have no choice but to pity him.

He's also an idiot. Let me count the ways...
-he has sloppy table manners (e.g. slirps his drinks whether hot or cold, drops his food on the floor while eating)
-he has problems using silverware like forks and knives
-he's very particular about what he eats (even though he came from the poorest country in the world)
-he eats about 30 servings for each meal
-he's very keen about his physical appearance
-very keen about his physical health - can't handle the slightest of discomfort and will make a case out of nothing usually
-he complains about his working conditions
-talks on the phone after midnight and has pple calling him after midnight (on our house line so that when it rings, everyone is disturbed from their sleep)
-and so on and so on

I'm so sick of him, let me tell you. Fortunately, he's planning to move out, hopefully on the first of August (which is in a couple of days!) He needs to leave because he acts very uncomfortable being here as it is.

Anyway, keeping my fingers crossed.

GW