Going Further Into Retreat

I got my 3 wisdom teeth out and BOY OH BOY was it ever an experience never to be forgotten. It was bru-TAL. It wasn't so much the pain as was all the precaution and the worrying if I was going to get an infection or a dry-socket. I was so distracted by all the worrying I haven't even written here. It was a tough couple of days. I took a week and a half off from work. I enjoyed that part at least.

Since then though, my remaining energy and spirit have dwindled. I'm highly aware that I've lost my drive. This is one long funk that I'm in and I know where the beginning of it was but we won't go there. We'll just wait and see until Novemeber.

It's 1:13am and I'm going back and forth to msn (I know) and to my blog writing frantically. That's what I hate about msn. You're having a nice conversation with one person and suddenly, someone rudely interrupts and when you don't reply immediately, they take offence. Problem is that there's no "do not disturb" indicators on this thing. I haven't been on msn for years and years. I don't think I'll be back on though. Only to speak to Bee since she got off Facebook now.

That mystery guy from facebook continues to email me. It's nice but he's a constant reminder for what happened b/w me and Fil. Mystery man seems nice and I like that's things are still distant b/w us but tonight he suggested we meet for coffee/tea next time he's in Toronto which is probably going to be sooner or later. He seems to be in Toronto frequently. He lives in Kingston but works across the border.

The hell with it. I have to figure out what I'm doing with my life. I've been working on my novel a little more. I realized the reason why I was stuck on it for a while was b/c I wasn't starting off with a problem first. I was starting off with little scenes and ideas and trying to join them together. Now I tried creating a problem and unraveling a story around it. That seemed to work. So I got a problem, I'm still criticizing it though.

Better go to sleep soon. It's already fucking 1.45am.

GW

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