Diary of a Wom'n

For every call that I get from a guy, I wish I could redirect them to this post;

You've reached the virtual box of Grace Wonderful.  I'm sorry I can't see or speak to you right now but due to the recent random events of crime against women inflicted by high society men, I don't wish to be in your company for the next 6 months.  I have a temporary abhorrence for the phallocentric world and anything masculine except for small dogs (the canine kind).  Any propositions from you for a weekend date or midweek dinner night will be immediately and thoroughly rejected.  All messages left on my phone will be deleted before being reviewed and all emails imploring me to contact you will be dutifully deleted and potentially marked as "junk mail".  Should you wish to ignore my wishes and continue to seek me out, please accept my condolences now for I will taser you in the near future and then send you a restraining order.  Thank you and have a wonderful day.

But it's not all men that disgust me right now.  My close friend Kunle is a sweetheart and this guy I'm crushing on is all heart.  It's the guys that are so persistent in calling me and pushing me to see them that turn me off right now.  I don't need that and I certaintly don't need to be guilted into doing anything I don't want to do or can't do, for that matter.  I can't tell you how extremely busy I am with work.  A teacher's job seriously doesn't end at 5:00 pm.  It extends beyond that into the evening and then carries over to the weekend and into the wee hours of the night.  I'm doing admin work, maintaining contact with parents, writing up IEPs, lesson planning, unit planning, marking, etc.  Clearly I'm stressed out.

And I explain this to people, very clearly what my day involves.  So forgive me if I get a little frustrated when people say to me (especially men) "you don't even call me/answer my calls." or "I'm so upset with you - you're avoiding me.  I needed to talk to you and you didn't even answer my calls" or "Can I please see you right now?"

How about, "I'm sorry to hear that you're so busy." or "Is there anything I can do to help?" or give me suggestions as to how I can be less stressed out.  For crying out loud, why would you put more stress on someone by shouldering your own problems on them when they are in the middle of their own stressful dilemma.

That's what happened when Joel called me this week while I was at work and I was just rushing to go to a meeting at that point and he pulls the "you're ignoring me" crap right after I finished telling him how frickin busy things have been with me (but rightly so b/c this is my first permanent position).

Anyway, I just have short patience for this kind of thing b/c it's selfishness.  It's selfish b/c they're implying that they're time and they're worries/comfort is more important than mine.

GW

So goes a conversation with one of my grade 7 girls this week...

"Ms. G, are you married?"

"No." (in a wistful tone)

"You're not? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No." (in a "absolutely not" tone)

"No?  Do you have a crush on someone?  Are you crushing on a guy?"

"No." (in a "that's a silly notion" tone)

"Are you thinking of getting married sometime?"

"No." (in a pensive tone)

Lol.  I imagine the conversation would have been much more livelier if I did have a bf but I had to tell the truth and I also had to steer the conversation to how much I love being me and focusing on what I love; teaching.  And that marriage isn't as important as fulfilling your dream (unless of course marriage is the dream for some).

Youthful innocence is so charming sometimes.

GW

I knew I would love you the moment I saw you and today, we're inseparable.

My days begin and end with you.  You're there in the morning to wake me up, and you're there at night to lull me to sleep.  And though I don't see you all the time, you're always close to my heart.

Your shade of purple and sleek black curves is irresistible to touch.  When we go out together, you're admired by all and I'm happy to see you sparkle when the spotlight is on you.

Where ever I am, you keep me posted on the latest news and you keep me connected when I'm out of reach from the world.

And when you get old and a little worn out, I think I will adore you even more.  You'll mean more to me every year that we're together.

And even when my Fido contract ends after the 3 year term, you'll still be my number one.

GW

This school year took off with a good start.  I have wonderful groups of kids that I see for Literacy and Social Studies.  Because classes have been arranged by a teacher's specialty, teachers at my school have to teach two or three subjects only to about two sets of classes.  So for me that means: I teach three literacy classes, and 2 social studies classes.  My "core" class is a grade 7 class but I only teach them literacy.  I prefer this arrangement because it means teachers can focus on a few particular subjects and teach it several times to different classes instead of teaching everything once.

I'm also liking my classroom.  *I should take a picture of it and put it up here*  It's got lots of board space and bulletin space.  I have one little window in which its ledge doubles as my bookshelf (because I can't ever have enough bookshelves).  There's lots of purple, green, and blue in the room.  The colours of calmness and serenity.  The effect is a little for my benefit too.  You see, I have my NTIP (new teacher's induction program) this year, kind of like probation.  And new teachers are so lucky because they get to do 2 in their first year!  So being a nervous person as it is, it's going to be a very stressful period.  I hope it goes well.  It's the kids that scare me really.  The way they behave can make it more difficult or easier on me.  But we'll see how it goes.

Over the past few weeks, I've had this strong desire to teach in another country.  I really want to try teaching in Eritrea or Ethiopia even.  I want to appreciate the educational spectrum and pedagogy and practices of another totally different school system in an entirely different social atmosphere.  Once I build my seniority in the TDSB and I get more financially settled, this is definitely something I'm going to do.

For now, I'll just take vacations every summer and add posts to my online travelogue!

GW

Life can now begin! I'm moving into my new apartment this weekend! Tomorrow will mark the day I will sleep in my own my own my OWN place. I'm so ecstatic, I can't think about anything else (except for upcoming vacations and my new job).

So far, only the bed and accessories have arrived.  I've washed, set-up and put in a few kitchen supplies and the shades for the windows have been put up. 

In another month it's going to look more like a home. MY home.

GW

TW moved out on the first of August which was a Sunday.  It was not an easy day.  First of all, TW's unwillingness to move out was apparent to me a few days before that day.  Here's how I know:

1.  He didn't show any enthusiasm when the landlord agreed to rent him the room for $50 less.
2.  He didn't call the landlord to tell him he accepts the costs and let him know that he wants to move in.
3.  He didn't get the exact address of the place.
4.  He didn't pack his belongings

So what happened?  On the morning of moving day, he goes to church and stays out all morning and all afternoon.  We had no idea what time he was planning to come and we had no way to get in touch with him.  After he enjoyed his time, he saunters home at about 2.30pm.

Keep in mind he has not packed yet.  It's moving day.  And we had the truck till only about 5pm.

So what does this fool do?  Starts shoving his things in a box and jamming clothes in suitcases.  He had to make a mad dash to pack up like his bottom was on fire.  With all the rushing and dashing, I knew he was bound to forget something in the house and just as I predicted, I later found he forgot a few pictures on my bookshelf.  Idiot.

What I can't figure out is how do you leave packing to the last hour? This isn't packing to go on vacation with the eventuality of coming back home, this is moving out for good.  He didn't even come to any agreement with the landlord.  He didn't call to confirm anything with him.  As far as the landlord knew, nobody was moving into the place.

In all honesty, I think TW wanted to brush the idea of moving out under the carpet because he didn't want to do it anymore.  He didn't want to commit to hsi plans anymore.  And he hoped that we wouldn't say anything about it and just let it pass and revert back to him living here as before.  Just doing the same thing everyday.

I can't decide whether he has failed himself or he was failed by his society.  Who's to blame for his total incompetence at everything?

GW

Today's horoscope is very insightful.

Thursday, Aug 5th, 2010 -- Your core values around material possessions can strongly impact the decisions you make today. If you have childhood recollections of dissatisfaction, you could be motivated now to accumulate more than you need. If you link the idea of happiness with collecting money or things, you might wonder what you are missing. You can free yourself from your past if you stay focused on the present moment. By Rick Levine

GW