Diary of a Wom'n

That sentiment has always been there since the beginning of January 2006.  It was there when I graduated from teacher's college and it's still there now.

I hate having to implement all these new initiatives ON TOP of what we already have to do which is beyond a full plate already.  When you try to do too much all at once, you're really not going to produce anything effective.


I truly hate the kids that were born here and take for granted this life of luxury.  I also hate the kids that immigrated here and have turned footloose as a result of experiencing all the freedoms Canada and our school boards have to offer.  Their life of hardship and fear that they once lead is quickly forgotten and replaced instead with entitlement and arrogance.  And I hate the parents who bring children into this world only to destroy them.

Most of all, I hate having to "teach" a class of 30.  Teaching isn't a good word for what we do to be quite honest.  Maybe mentoring, entertaining, being a friend, counseling, care-giving - some would even go as far to say as glorified baby-sitting.  In any case, it's not teaching.  It's "keeping them busy for 10 months of the year".  And 30 is just an average.  I have been in classes where there were 40 kids in one classroom.  Insane?  Not if you're a board admin.

And finally, I hate what the school boards have become - weak, ineffectual, and soft.  Where is the authority that teachers and schools once had?  What factors contributed to it becoming diminished?  As it is, teachers have as much authority as a piñata does among a group of bat-wielding kids.  Is it any wonder why kids today are in the state they're in in terms of their academic performance?  Why should they do their homework or projects? Why should they study?  What's the teacher going to do?  Give them an IEP?  Call their parents who are just as unable to help?

The Canadian education system is a disaster.  We are ranked the lowest of the low in world stats.  We have an IEP for every child or at the very least, a label.  Their literacy and numeracy skills is in the toilet because our schedule is filled with so much crap that by the time you actually DO get to teach them something it's only for a total of maybe 20 minutes.

It's hard to say what's in store for me regarding this job come next September but I'm not going to lie, I hope the teacher I'm covering for comes back so I can leave and pursue something else.  It's making me feel hopeless and defeated.


It's going to be a long dreadful year.

GW

On Wednesday evening of this week, I stopped off at Walmart to pick up some supplies for a science experiment that I was going to do for my science classes the next day.  I needed dry yeast, balloons, and food colouring.  I got them all but inadvertently picked something else up - the acquaintance of my ex-boyfriend.

It happened a few steps away from the entrance of the store.  I hadn't yet picked up my blue basket when I suddenly heard my name being called from the right.  I turned to look and chills immediately ran down my back.  This was the person who had turned into a semi-stalker years ago, who had hounded me through the phone a 100 times a day which was the reason why I had to change my number, and who had borrowed $400 from me and never returned it.  I had only a split second to sock him in the eye with the blue basket or take the high road, square my shoulders and say hello.

I took the high road.  We chatted a bit and he danced around the question he wanted to ask me: can we get together again?  What he asked was, do you have time for coffee?  I said no and soon after he asked what my situation was in terms of relationships.  To avoid having a battle with him about going out with me again,  I told him I was married.  When I told him that, he stiffened up and the perkiness in him dissipated.  He said that it should have been him who married me.  I asked about his situation but as I suspected, he wasn't with anyone.  No good woman would go out with him or stay with him for long.  However, he did say that he has a son now from his ex-girlfriend from 3 years ago.  Apparently, he had to go through some legal battle with her about having shared custody of the child.

Listening to the way his life has unfolded and watching the way he continues to walk with a limp from a knee injury made me feel rather sorry for him.  Nothing has changed with him.  Nothing has gotten better.  He's got nothing to show for all these years that have passed.  What a waste.

He walked me to the checkout and offered to pay for my items, and then walked me to my car.  Before we parted, he wished me a good happy life and hoped that it will work out for me.  He didn't ask for my contact info or if we could keep in touch.  We said good-bye, I got into my car and drove away.

This is how Joanne, the special ed teacher met her husband...

About 9 years ago, she went on a 2-week tour with a tour group to the southwestern states of the US.  There she met Neal (not his real name, I forgot his real name) who was coming from Australia.  He was only there for the first week of the tour though because he wanted to visit his sister who was living in one of the cities they were touring.  Joanne and Neal exchanged numbers and before he left for Australia, he called her on the phone and told her he'd call once he arrived back home.  At first, Joanne wasn't sure how far this would go and wasn't sure if it would even work out but sure enough he called and they kept in touch.  About a year later, he got a work visa while he was just shy of 30, to come to work in Canada.  At that point they were able to spend more time with each other.  After that, they got engaged and eventually married.  Incidentally, about a week ago, her husband officially became a Canadian citizen.

GW

There's a grade 7 teacher at our school who is also named Courtney.  And as my luck goes, he started hitting on me after seeing me a couple of times in the school.  I am happy to share lunch dates with him while at school and maybe a walk during duty times but that's about it.  The last thing I want is to screw up a good thing (my job) by having a relationship with someone I work with.  To add to that, it would make matters quite awkward if we had a fallout.  We couldn't think objectively.  We would be too busy finding ways to avoid each other.

GW

Vick, who's the girl's gym teacher at our school, told me about how she met her husband of 3 years...

Before meeting Gus (her husband), Vick was going through one bad relationship after another and Steve, another teacher at our school, was aware of this.  While Vick was dating these men, Steve had in mind a man for her and often told her so.  One day, Vick took up Steve's offer to meet Gus.  They had their first date at a restaurant and Vick recalls how standoffish she was during their date.  This was because by this point, she was a little tired of men and wasn't hopeful about Gus.  Also, before Gus, Vick was often overly nice to her boyfriends and was beginning to realize that men didn't like that and rather found it a desparate attempt on her part to get married.  She later learned that Gus found her standoffishness a turn-on.  Well, as it turned out, the two hit it off and one date led to another and then finally to marriage.  She is now expecting her first child due sometime in February.

GW

This blog is turning out to be the chronicles of my teaching experience. I'm not keeping up with the updates though.  Well, I'm into my 5th week, I just realized that right now.  It feels as though I'm still in my 3rd week.  Things are starting to fall into place and I'm starting to see things from a better perspective.

I have to say, my class drives me up the wall with their constant interruption of me when I'm speaking.  I have to come up with a system where they can monitor their own behaviour instead of me always reminding them to be quiet.  I also don't like that they ask me to use the washroom, take a drink, go to the lockers, 100 times a day.  There are times where for one period straight, there is a constant flow of students coming and going from the classroom for various things.

One of my favourite things about my class is Aziz.  He is truly a gift from God.  I've met very very few kids like him who have a heart of gold.  He is the type of child who is very intuitive and has a heightened sense of how another human being feels.  He is the type who will truly give of himself to help another person.  At school, we have a door-decorating contest for Halloween and I asked the kids to bring in decoration - Aziz brought in items the very next day.  When I stand and wait for the class to be quiet, he is the one who is proactive and tells everyone to listen to the teacher.  If there was a drowning boy in a lake in the middle of winter, Aziz wouldn't be the one dialing 911 or calling for help, he would be the one to jump into the frigid waters to pull the boy out.

People like Aziz are one in a million.  Today after school, I had a math-help session with a few students and Aziz was one of them.  After we finished, however, Aziz stayed behind to start decorating the door.  Whereas most kids would want to leave school the first opportunity they get, Aziz stayed behind to contribute to the school spirit.

I don't know what I'm going to do without him in February when he moves to his new school.  I asked him if he wants to continue his education and graduate at this school with the rest of his friends but he opted to go to his new school because he said the transition to grade 9 would be easier in terms of making friends.  What a bright cookie he is.  It's going to be a sad day for all of us the day he leaves because Aziz is loved by everybody.  He is just a wonderful beautiful human being and I know he will grow up to do great things in his life.

As Halloween is coming up, my kids are very excited about all the events taking place at our school so nearer the day, I'll take pictures of my crazies and post them here.

GW

My LTO officially starts on Tuesday.  I'm so happy about this.  I feel especially lucky because I have an awesome sweet class.  They are a very friendly and caring group of kids.  There are still the little personality clashes but for the most part they are gentle and they don't make fun of each other.

The other thing I love about my class is that they are so diverse.  I have students from Cuba, Albania, Serbia, Sri Lanka, Lebanon, Sudan, Romania, Jamaica, Korea, and the list goes on.  I want to tie this aspect into a unit later down the year.  

I'm confident this job will last until June as Joanne assured me.  Ms. Handy is on mat leave right now and isn't quite in a position to come back.  I hoping and praying she doesn't come back in September as well and that this position is open as a permanent position and they give it to me!  If it does turn into a permanent, I know I will get the job.  I fit with the dynamic of the school and I just love being there.  But I won't hold my breath.

The second week has been great - much much better than the first.  I moved into my new room on Monday and from there, things started falling into place.  I still have to put paper on the new bulletin boards that I have and today I bought a few baskets for an IN and OUT box.  I'm armed with math resources and stickers now.  But I am nowhere near where I need to be in terms of planning.

For example, I still have to

1. read on and prepare IEPs for two of my core kids and a few of my science rotary kids
2. catch up on my reflections relating with student anecdotes
3. read the MYP binder and gather more ideas about how to gear my teachings according to it
4. create a science plan for term one
5. learn the report card program
6. get a school library card
7. get a few remaining office supplies
8. create a math plan for term one
9. create a literacy plan for Iqbal: A Novel
10. establish deadlines for Biography, History, and Science assignments.

...I'm going to stop there for now, even though there are a lot more things to do.

One thing I have to mention is Hans has made such progress from the first week I was here.  He's subdued and less talkative and less loud.  I'm happy about the progress but he isn't where he should be yet.  He still requires constant supervision in order for him to actually do the work.

One step at a time.

GW